The meaning of a name...

Pastor White's sermon last night- i can't even come up with the word's to describe it. There are sermon's that change lives, alter paths, and show us new light... Last night's sermon was one of those.

How many times have i heard the story of Jacob and Esau? How many times have i heard about Jacob's name change? I grew up in this Apostolic faith- its all i know. I have heard the story more times than i could ever recount, but last night- i learned something so new and so real- i will never forget this...

I will not even attempt to re-preach Pastor's sermon, but i would like to tell you of a few things that stuck out to me so vividly last night:

I learned what puts us on God's Hate List.
I learned what the Bible meant when it talked about Esau being a profane man: Profane: not having a relationship with God
I learned how to NOT get on God's Hate List: get a real relationship with God
I learned what the word Jacob really meant.- "circumventor"
I learned that Jacob was always trying to get around God's way of doing things.
I learned that God did not change his name to "Israel" until he realized that God is "the boss".

It amazes me how many times i have prayed, God, please just as long as my baby is healthy.. thats all i ask...

But truly, as Pastor White taught last night, we as Parent-to-be should be praying, God, let this baby have a relationship with you... as long as he makes it to Heaven, Lord, thats all that really matters to me...

The name Jayden is the variant of the Hebrew name, Jadon. It means: "Jehovah has heard."

God heard my prayer, He gave me a son. God heard my prayer, my son is so far alive and well and healthy...

Now I pray that God will hear this prayer for my little boy- Lord, let my son have a close relationship with you...

Baby Shower #1 Invitations

Thank you Mommy! I love them!

I'M NOT LISTENING....

Well today was my 28 week checkup. My doctor informed me that if i didn't start taking 3 hours out of my daily routine to put my feet up and rest, then i would have the baby in 6-8 weeks. That doesn't sound too bad actually. What did sound bad though is that he threatened bed rest if i do not comply. Hmm... I told him - NOT ON MY LIFE!

I mean, just because I'm in my 7th month doesn't really mean that i have to STOP, right? Yes i have been cramping and I've been having some serious issues with braxton hicks, but I'm doing ok... I don't know if i can put aside 3 hours to rest. Who does that!?

Good grief. I would rather go, go, go and have the baby in 6-8 weeks. Doesn't that sound like a better idea?

25 Great things about being pregnant!

1. You're guaranteed to stop traffic whenever you cross the street.

2. People look at your stomach and can't help smiling, as if the mere thought of your being pregnant has actually made their day a little bit brighter.

3. You can eat a whole pint of chocolate-chunk ice cream and not feel guilty. Every night.

4. You can -- no, you must! --take naps. Lots of them.

5. Getting to name another human being.

6. Watching your husband turn into a father when he kisses your belly good night, reads to the baby in utero, or stays up until 3:00 a.m. putting the crib together -- just in case the baby decides to come eight weeks early.

7. This had to be edited. LOLOL

8. Buying a bathing suit. It's not about hiding your flaws; it's about flaunting your belly.

9. Those wild, intense, amazing pregnancy dreams in which every remote person from your past makes some sort of appearance. None of these dreams can even begin to be analyzed or understood.

10. The amazing anticipation. It's like all your previous birthdays and holidays rolled into one.

11. Imagining the possibilities.

12. More personal space! And you have no qualms about claiming it.

13. You eat healthier, drink more water, and carefully read ingredient labels. Suddenly, it matters more to you what you put in your body.

14. In the middle of a boring meeting at work or a meaningless argument, you feel your baby squirming inside you and the sensation takes you away. It's your own secret communication.

15. Getting to hear the swish swish swish of your baby's heartbeat on the Doppler.

16. Playing "Guess the part sticking out," usually at bedtime, when your baby starts moving furniture around or whatever it is he does in there.

17. The extra attention you get from everyone -- your husband gives you more foot rubs, and your friends call to check in more often. Neighbors offer to help; coworkers volunteer to get lunch for you; little presents (a bottle of water, an afternoon snack) mysteriously show up on your desk.

18. The pregnancy beauty package: thick, silky hair; long, strong nails; beautiful skin.

19. Getting to skip to the front of the line in public rest rooms.

20. Shopping for a person you haven't met yet: tiny clothes, all-new furniture, and adorable room decorations.

21. Dreaming about the first time someone calls you "Mommy" and the first time you hear someone call your husband "Daddy."

22. Baby showers! They remind you how special your friends and family think you are.

23. A continuous sense of accomplishment. You can answer "What did you do today?" with cool things like "I made ears" or simply "I'm making a person. What did you do?"

24. Spending immeasurable amounts of time trying to remember all those nursery rhymes, children's songs, and lullabies.

25. Knowing that all the bad stuff -- the heartburn, swollen ankles, backaches, and the rest -- doesn't last forever. And that in the end, it's all worth it.

28 Weeks already?

Is it just me, or has time really been flying by? I can't believe i only have 12 weeks left. My little man is fastly developing all he needs to survive.

The fist pic was taken in July and the next pic was taken today! WOW!

Ok now on to my depressing but very much needed post: (sorry the spacing messed up on me)

For all of you who know me, i am not a political junky. And just recently, i have come to ABHOR politics. I really honestly cannot believe the choices we have this election for presidents. It really is a bummer. So today's post is about a political issue near and dear to my heart... Proposition 4...

Abortion by definition: An abortion is the termination of a pregnancy by the removal or expulsion of an embryo or fetus from the uterus, resulting in or caused by its death.

I know, i know.. so morbid.. but i feel like i must.

I am 28 weeks pregnant. My baby weighs close to 3 pounds and he is almost 15 inches long from head to toe. Get out a yardstick and see exactly how long that is... that is longer than a loaf of bread. He is getting to be a big boy. He is sleeping and waking at regular intervals, he can open and close his eyes, and he is even starting to have dreams...

Did you know that this Wednesday, i could go into my doctor's appointment and tell them that i would like to terminate my pregnancy and that would not be a problem?

Roe v. Wade centrally held that a mother may abort her pregnancy for any reason, up until the "point at which the fetus becomes ‘viable.’" The Court defined viable as being potentially able to live outside the mother's womb, albeit with artificial aid. Viability usually occurs at about seven months (28 weeks) but may occur earlier, even at 24 weeks."

Babies born at 28 weeks have a hard time breathing on their own. Usually they are hooked up to machines for 2 or 3 months until their lungs completely develop. There is a GREAT possibility that my doctor would say that the "fetus" is not viable (meaning that he couldn't survive outside the womb without help) and he could go ahead and tell me that i could get an abortion....

Writing this post makes me sick to my stomach. To think that young girls- like 12 and 13 years of age can go in to a clinic and abort their babies up until 28 weeks is just disgusting. And did you know that they don't even have to get permission from their parents?

If you vote yes on Prop 4- Minors are required to have a waiting period and parental notification before terminating their pregnancies.

Pastor White said its hardly anything... but it is something... I urge you to vote YES on Prop 4

There are many other Jayden's out there that were conceived- not of their choosing... Why should they have to feel the sting of a needle and shake and twitch out of control until they pass on from their short life. Its not fair... its not right....

I must vote my conscience. How about you?

Pacifier or No Pacifier???

So when do we make decisions like: do we give Jayden a pacifier? at what age do i introduce a bottle? do i introduce a bottle? do i just go from breastfeeding to a sippy cup? When do i give him table food?

I have heard that these decisions just "come to you". Hmm... I'm not too sure about that... So what are the pros and cons of a pacifier. I have heard that it damages their teeth and they grow up with buck teeth and they drool everywhere and that it will make them talk funny. I would appreciate any insight you all might provide.

I personally do not have any feelings against using the pacifier. i used one (i think) and i know several children who have. they seem like they talk just fine.

I just don't want my baby to get attached to it and then not want to give it up. My biggest fear is that he will scream and cry for two weeks because mommy won't give him his pacifier....

What do you think?

West Coast Conference Worries

I AM RESORTING TO THE GLORIFIED MUU MUU!!!

What is a muu muu? A muu muu is a loose dress of Hawaiian origin that hangs from the shoulder. Muʻumuʻu are also popular as maternity gowns and with obese people because they do not restrict the waist.

I have really been worrying for a long time about what to wear to WCC. Poor me... When i get ready for church David looks at me and says, "Babe, isn't that a little tight?" I will spare you my response.

I do have a couple of outfits that i can possibly wear. Well i have more than a couple.. i guess i should say i have a few, but they are getting snug on my belly and i cannot tell you how annoying it is. Sometimes you feel like you can't breath because its so tight. UGH! So if there is anyone out there that would be willing to donate a MUU MUU for my cause, please email me pictures first. I'm looking for one that is all black- maybe even red to spice things up a little.. I could always add a flower somewhere on the hideous thing and find some really cute shoes...

Otherwise, i think i will just get one made. I already have the pattern picked out.

Ooooops! Is that my problem???

Maybe this would explain the large belly. LOL. I have heard so many things about not drinking caffeine when prego, but i have consulted with my doctor... and although he hates the fact that i'm taking in empty calories, he said its only a risk during the first trimester.

So the first trimester, i would not even smell coffee. For those of you who may not know, i love coffee. Before pregnancy i would drink anywhere from 3 -4 cups a day. And because this pregnancy was "a surprise" i wasnt doing everything i should. I was not taking prenatal vitamins, i was drinking TONS of caffeine, i was not trying to loose weight, and i wasn't really eating as healthy as i should either. In fact my 4th week of pregnancy, i was in Washington, DC with my boss (i think i might have already told this story) anyways, i was there with my boss working crazy hours and every morning i would have a GRANDE white chocolate mocha with 4 shots of espresso. Then when i would get to our meetings i would drink another 2 cups of straight black coffee just to stay alive. My poor little baby boy survived all that even though he was only the size of a pea. He is such a strong young man.... like his mother... They say that caffeine increases your risk of miscarriage during the first trimester. I'm not sure if i believe that anymore because i drank enough caffeine to kill myself! But once i found out that i was prego, all caffination stopped! No tea, no coke, no coffee, no mocha, no espresso... no wonder why i slept the days away... good grief! how is a person supposed to live like that.

Well needless to say once i finished the first trimester and saw that my baby was going to stay with me, i began the caffination process slowly- and now its out of control again.... well, not competely out of control.

Oh great... here comes confessions... ok so every morning for the past 2 weeks i have been stopping at McDonalds for a super-sized COKE. Just a regular coke. Oh my... it feels my every longing... How can i resist? Its only 99 cents right now... Then when i get to work i have 1 cup of coffee (black... yes, i HATE sweet coffee. thats why i get 4 shots of espresso in my white chocolate mocha...)

So i just pray to God while i sip my black gold like my papa taught me... and i ask Him to watch after my little baby while i indulge in lifes most precious commodity... CAFFEINE!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY LOVE.

The Day He Asked Me...

The Day He Kissed Me....

Another Year
Another year to create
precious memories together.
Another year to discover new things
to enjoy about each other.

Another year to build
a life rich in love and laughter.
Another year to strengthen
a marriage that defines "forever."

Happy Anniversary!

By Joanna Fuchs

David Anthony Gonzales, I love you with all my heart. Thank you for the best two years of my life. You mean more to me than words could ever say.

There has got to be more than one in there...

For some odd reason, i am getting bigger.... and bigger.... and bigger.... Everyday David looks at me and says, "Babe, have you grown more?" The first time it was exciting that he had taken notice... The second time was more of an.... "aww, how sweet honey! you noticed!" The third time was when i threw something.

Yes, everyone, i am getting bigger. This child is growing out of control. Its pretty hilarious when you have a mother of 4 tell you that she thinks you are having twins. When i go to my appointments and i see other prego women sitting next to me- i refrain from asking how far along they are anymore.

This cute little prego young lady rode the elevator with me and my honey up to our last appointment. I knew she was going to the same place as me because she had a cute little tiny belly- so to make elevator conversation- stupid me asked, "how far along are you?" that was the last time i asked that question. She said "8 and a half months" like it was NO big deal. I said "ooooooooooo really!".... crossing my fingers, hoping and praying to the Good Lord in heaven that she would not ask me the same question.... there was a period of silence... then the famous question... "how about you?" David was already turning white in the corner and having a hard time breathing. It took him a second or two to digest that this small little pooch this lady had was almost ready to be hatched! He looked at me with the most awkward look as i tried to answer her back... oh, i'm 6 months... Now people, if you havent seen me lately, you will not understand why this was such an embarassing moment. The lady in the elevator looked at me and said, "oh". Thats it!!!! "oh"..... That was the end of that conversation.

When people ask me how far along i am- its no longer followed by: "oh, how neat".... its usually followed by: "oh, are you sure there is just one in there?"

HA! I'm just learning to laugh it off now... This child is OUT OF CONTROL! So, i need to come up with a good line to make people laugh.. any suggestions?